Before: I start to think about it, my heart begins to ache and I feel like crying but I can't and that hurts me even more. I begin to think about every moment in life I've messed up , there's countless memories that fly past my mind, this process of thinking lasts a few hours then finally after the build up of sadness I feel it's time
during: I walk over to where I hide my blade , I take it out then pull down my pants a bit to expose my hips and thighs, I go into a trance and I feel myself lose control as I press the blade to my skin , blood beads up and rolls down , I stop and stare at it , loving it , it feels numb with a slight sting
after:i snap out of the trance and clean up the blood making sure it stops flowing so it doesn't make stains on my pants , I feel depressed and numb as I lay in my bed listening to music , some how cutting has become not enough to take the pain away ...
Person Genderfluid , age 14 , started SI age 11
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