When I cut, I feel...
Before : I feel angry and sad. Or I just want to cut because i love the sensation. But mostly angry and sad (a feeling next to jealousy but not really). It's often when i have an argument with someone or even myself.
During : It hurts sometimes, sometimes not. And then it's... magic. I'm very relaxed and happy. It's like drinking vodka, but the sensation is shorter. My head is empty, i'm in paradise. I guess it's like being mentally dead for a few second, but in a good and pleasant way. I cut, I burn, hit or scratch myself.
After : I feel good and not guilty. I feel guilty only weeks after. But I really don't want to stop.
Person French female, 19, SI from 11-12.
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