Do holding off make SI more intense?
I am a busy woman and I find if I am in a situation that takes me to thinking about SI I can not wait to get home. I have tried not to SI but the longer I hold off the worse it is. When I’m on the bus I try and think I can make the bus go faster just to get home to release. The antisapation of doing it gets greater and greater.
When it gets to this point, to me, it’s better than sex and seeing the blood is euphoric. I use the skills I’ve learned in the past but the times when I have to, or feel I have to, it’s great.
Has this happened to anyone or am I just weird?