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    Draco Malfoy

    [male, age 18, began to SI at age 16, Uni student]


    • Sharp and handy.\n\n Two words I immediately associate with razorblades. Sure, one can shave themselves with one of those tiny devils, but they’re so many more useful things you can do with them. Like the thing I’m about to do right now: cutting. And no, I’m not talking about me trying to make something arty, nor me like a stereotype fag sewing a new shirt. No, I’m talking about cutting in skin. In flesh, live flesh, my flesh. “Oh, that’s wrong boy,” you say? I know, don’t tell me about it being wrong; I’ve been aware of that specific fact from well before I started. I don’t care, not really. Or wait, maybe I do. I don’t know, too confused right now to actually try to think of the fact that it’s wrong and I’m aware of it. To get back to the cutting, I don’t do it that often, really. Just once or twice every two months, more when I feel particularly bad or lost. But when I do it, I do it right. Deep, so blood comes flowing quickly. Swift, so I don’t have to quickly pull back and mess things up when someone comes knocking on my door asking me if I want to come and watch a movie with them. Thoughtful, cause I don’t want my leg to look like a scene from some bad low-budget horror flick, nor like “I thought bout it and I felt the need to cut the Mona Lisa in my leg, she’s just sooo pretty!” I’ve got both the lower parts of my legs full of scars right now. Pretty big scars, I might proudly add. I like to identify myself with that sf-flick character I like so much from the movies, that rugged Wolverine, played by Hugh Jackmann. What a man! anyways, doesn’t everyone secretly want to be a superhero sometimes? Fight for what you stand for, preferably with loads of sparks and smoke. Save the day, and in the end live happily ever after with the leading lady, or cute male sidekick in my case. Shoot me for daydreaming. To get back to the scars, the people I know and love can’t help but notice them. Sure, I can go walking around in trousers the whole time, but that’s just silly. So, they noticed. Good or bad? I don’t know, yet again. It gave me the opportunity to talk to them about it, which did wonders for my self-esteem and self-worth. They showed a great deal of care and love, some of it surprising, some of it well, dare I say it, expected?! I guess I’m one of those people who needs others to acknowledge him. I can’t handle compliments, nor people telling me I did something great. I can’t handle it in person. I either get really uncomfortable or I start blushing like an over-ripe tomato. Not that I don’t like it, I don’t think anyone dislikes people appreciating what he or she does, but I don’t know how to handle it. I’ll be in heaven for awhile, until I realise, and this is not a plea for you to tell me otherwise; it’s an objective observation, that I’m an all-round loser, trying to cover things up with my warm personality and bounciness. There’s really no denial to it. I love my studies, yet I fail to put myself to work. And when the deadline is exceeded, I hate myself even more for letting it come so far. I feel the need to put in something funny right now in the text cause it’s getting a little heavy, but I don’t have the inspiration to do so, so I’ll just continue like I’m doing now. \n\n *some of my thoughts at the moment*\n\n Jordi P. (jordi_on_the_roadathotmail.com)

    • Person [male, age 18, began to SI at age 16, Uni student]
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About Us

Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.

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  • self-injury.net
  • Founded
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  • self-injury.net is a self-harm community and resource founded in 1999. Provides support, resources, and information on self-harm.
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    Draco Malfoy Draco Malfoy
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