Return to the little house of horrors
Things have actually been looking up for me lately. I haven’t cut myself in almost 3 months & I feel like my life’s on track the way it should be. I’m building a future for myself and it feels good to be able to prove everyone wrong. They only thought I would fail.
In a couple of days I’ll be going home to visit my family for a couple of weeks. I wish I could say that I’m looking forward to it, but that would be a damn lie. The only one I’m happy to see again is my little sister. She’s the light of my life and she deserves all the best in life.
I’ve been feeling a bit moody over this visit because I will have to face the one person I fear the most in this world: my mom.
I fear her. I hate her. But I guess still love her, despite the way she’s treated me. Despite that she said she never wanted to see me again when she couldn’t handle me cutting. I don’t have that much good to say about my father, especially since he wished me dead because of my cutting. I’ll never forgive that bastard. I’ll never forgive any of them for turning their backs on me when I needed them the most. I don’t feel like acting all cosy with them, espcially not when I feel the anger boiling inside. I hope I can keep myself cool and not blow up on anyone. I don’t want to have to return to my razors and start messing up my life again.
Person [female, age 24, began to SI at age 21, university student]