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    Draco Malfoy

    [female, age 18, began to self-injure at age 12, university student]


    • I have. I had to get stitches in my wrist once. The medical people I dealt with were all very caring and gentle. I felt very safe with them, and they were condesending or making me feel little or stupid. There have been many other times when i have been sent to doctors for one thing, but then they noticed the wounds or scars. I had an already frightening and horrible hosptialization for an anxiety attack get the added stress of doctors bringing up the fresh burns on my wrist.

    • Person [female, age 18, began to self-injure at age 12, university student]
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    Every doctor is different I guess. I’ve been to more ER’s and doctors than I can remember and the only doc that was truly empathetic and genuine was my old primary care physician. A lot of doctors were real jerks and acted like I commited a crime or something. It’s hard enough getting the courage to seek medical attention if needed and going through the humiliation and mixed up emotions when getting stitches, but to be treated bad or differently for it really sucks.

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    MorbidWhispers

    Posted · Report

    ive had really nice doctors and nurses then ive had real assholes.

    ive been told im stupid immature im a waste of their time and medical rescources.

    ive been treated like i was 5.

    ive had doctors who walk in see the cuts and ring another hospital that has a psych ward and as soon as i hear psych ward i run.

    but i also have been treated like its ok and that im responsible for going to the hospital.

    it just depends on who you get and how open minded they are.

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    I went to A + E after an overdose and was treated horribly. As if I didn’t already feel like a complete idiot. I was asked why I did it, was it a cry for help and then told that I could die “slowly and painfully”

    Just what I wanted to hear.

    The only time I was treated nicely was when I was already in a psychiatric hospital and told a male nurse that I had cut myself and needed to be stitched up. He was lovely about it, really caring and sympathetic. I think it’s a shame that medical professionals that don’t have mental health training can be (and get away with being) so prejudiced and discriminatory against those who self harm. 

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    ive been cutting myself since i was 12 & ive encountered both people who wer supportive & people who wer judgemental. wen i went to get stitches a couple months ago the nurses wer very mean. My doctor was supportive.

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    Guest Liz2010

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    I had to go to the ER on sunday actually, to have a really bad laceration sutured on my leg. I was in a really bad spot and was cutting during a panic attack. The ER staff was all very nice and didn’t treat me like I was an idiot or immature for what I had done. I recieved great medical care, but I also had to speak to someone on their crisis team before I left. My nurse explained that it was really just to cover their asses, in the event I went home and killed myself and wasn’t evaluated, the hospital become liable. I spoke to the psychologist for about 15 minutes and was sent on my merry way.

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    I went to a crisis nurse, once, when I wanted to cut but didn’t want to give in and break my promises to myself again. she asked me why I was looking for attention, and sent me on my way. I felt horrible. now I have an aversion to seeking help - I’m cutting again, but I won’t go to the hospital or to my doctor. I don’t want to be judged.

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    Guest OliviaN

    Posted · Report

    Every time I’ve sought medical attention for my SI, I’ve always been shoved to the side. I’ve had to super-glue cuts together. Once, I was waiting in the ER for 4 hours with a cut vein, but after I admitted that it was self-induced, they just shoved me to the side and ignored me. One doctor even had the nerve to tell me that because I wasn’t a Christian, this was God’s way of correcting me.

    But, I also live in the middle of the Bible-Belt.

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    bleeder13

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    I have encountered attitude, caring, and indifference. My regular doc was horrified when she noticed scars and wounds during a regular exam. Ive had to get stitches a few times and the first time they seemed irritated to have to deal with me as if to say ‘its your own fault’. Another time I got stitches, the doc was very kind and made sure to let me know through her actions and demeanor that she was not judging me. I had another doc simply say ‘oh, your’e a cutter’ with such indifference I felt as if he were making a point to not bring attention to it as if that’s what I was looking for. Mostly though, I think people contribute it automatically to a psychosis; SI = crazy. I still try to avoid them being seen, not sure what that says about my state of recovery, but I also have a family and am always concerned my parenting will be brought under judgement :(

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    I began self injury very early (before kindergarten). I could explain why but unless you have been there you won’t get it. I once cut so badly I needed 45 stitches in one night. I was hooked on the sensation. I was also terrifed of the repercussions, but my friend dragged me to the ER. I knew that if I said I had just “cut” and didn’t give a reason I would be treated like crap, so I lied and said I had felt dozens of invisible insects under my arm (even though I had previous wound scars). They bought it, stitched me and sent me on my way (thank god). My advice to all self harmers is that if they ask you why you cut, lie and say it was insects or some mechanical device. Make yourself sound utterly psychotic. They don’t care either way, but if they think you are psychotic you won’t be treated like crap and you can get the stitches and/or medical attention (and I mean attention in the most basic sense MOST of us keep this stuff quiet unless it becomes life threatening- we are compelled- we don’t want “attention”) without the dirty looks and sarcasm. From now on I will just automically pretend I am John Nash digging an implant out of my arm. They “can’t” hate you for being “psychotic”, but they can and will judge you for any wound that is deliberately caused if you are not psychotic. Half the time they don’t even watch people they think are psychotic and you can just leave. It’s the best option in a world of bad options. In short- most of them saw my scars, read my history, knew I self injured before most kids can read (and never asked me why, even as a five year old) and I grew addicted to the sensation and the endorphins. Lie and pretend you are psychotic. You are better off that way. I once cut to the bone as a teen and was bleeding for 3 days straight. I finally went to the ER because the bandage I had was still seeping blood slowly. The nurse shot me a dirty look and said if I did it myself, I could live with it and sent me on my way. GET HELP FOR YOURSELF when you need it and forget the hateful, ignorant people that are living in la la land. You will eventually overcome the need to hurt yourself, but don’t let hateful, stupid people risk your life when you are in a crisis. Stay strong like you guys always do (and for people who think only “emos” cut- try doing it on the spur of the moment- you can’t- it’s a much deeper drive so don’t judge). Take care. Respect your wounds. Get better for YOURSELF. And no matter what they say or how badly they treat you- if you are ALIVE you have hope of friends, of getting better and off ultimately educating the ignorant. Take care, LIVE and know you are strong. You will make it and someday you will see glimpses of beauty. Elle

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    boddah2yB

    Posted · Report

    I have tried to get help and been pushed aside. Doctors have said my depression is no more than teenage growing pains and seem angered when I try to push the subject. I have seen three therapists and went threw one psych eval at a mental hospital. One therapist gave me a rubber band and avoided the issue. One focused on my depression and offered to give me mild shock therapy. One refused to talk about it and was very uncomfortable. The psych eval was one of the worst experiences of my life. The man was cruel and I lied to him as much as I could so I wouldn’t have to be treated like that ever again in my life. 

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    I’ve never met medical personelnd  that were comassionate. I’ve needed stiches and blood transfusions many many times over the last 14 years and the reactions that I’ve gotten have ranged from indifference to plain rude and mean attitudes. I’ve only been really treated kindly once in one hospital in the ICU after a suicide attempt and most of the time I was there I was in a coma… but after those two weeks when I came to they treated me very well. I was actually sexually assaulted by a medical assistant in one hospital and they didn’t believe me because I was ‘crazy.’ Obviousl that is a really extreme case but still. (Some people believe that it happened, but the hospital did not.)

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I’ve needed stitches 3 times.

    First time: doctor was indifferent, nurses were very compassionate

    Second time (suicide attempt - missed the artery by being 1 mm to the left of it. - I did it as an inpatient in a psych ward)  doctor was freaked out. He asked me why i chose the placing an direction, I told him that I wanted to slice along the radial artery, and not get any of the flexor tendons, because I didn’t want to cause any extra pain. - I guess he was startled by the fact that I did so much research, and that i cut deeper than the artery lies, so he knew I meant business, I just was accidentally slightly offside, and on top of that, i did it with a piece of plastic which took over 200 slices to get as far as I did, AND i did it with a psych guard watching me (i did it under the covers (hense why i missed).  Yeah, so he was freaked that I was so serious about it that I got that far in a psych ward on constant observation.  The nurses seemed saddened by me. ( I guess my life story got passed around a bit, and they found out I had been in the psych ward since 3 days after my 18th)

    Third time: Doctor seemed annoyed, the nurses were very compassionate

    Another time I went to a medicenter, and told him I just needed a tetanus shot, because I was behind on my vaccinations, and I used a dirty box cutter that time. He seemed legitimately scared that I was going to walk out and kill myself within the week.  He tried to convince me to go to the ER, because I needed stitches, ones more advanced than he could provide. I told him it didn’t matter, my arm was already ugly, and I am good at keeping wounds clean. He convinced me to use steri-strips. He then referred me for an anxiety group and DBT.  He was very nice, and compassionate, and out of everyone I had ever dealt with, was the most concerned about my wellbeing, and tried to do something to help in the longterm.

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Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.

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  • self-injury.net
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  • self-injury.net is a self-harm community and resource founded in 1999. Provides support, resources, and information on self-harm.
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    Draco Malfoy Draco Malfoy
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