I began to self-harm because I dealt with bouts of awful depression and wanted to feel something else. It became a release. When I go an extended period of time without SI I begin to feel like there is pressure under my skin that I need to let out. I get increasingly more anxious and depressed till I can’t take it anymore. I have no particular ritual to it, I just grab something sharp and do it. I’ve even scratched myself. Its become an addiction that I’ve been trying to fight for a very long time. I do it because I’m addicted and need that release. They say that ex addicts will often relapse multiple times before actually stopping. I can’t seem to keep myself from it for more than a year, though. I hate the scars but I feel like I need to SI to stay sane.
Person female, age 17, began to SI at age 12, high school student