By Lost In Darkness,
This is a question I ask myself every day. Until recently, an answer has never been clear. Control. We all live in a world where the chances of being in control are nonexistant. I can’t control the weather, other people, death, among the many other things I would like to be in control of. People anger me easily. I’ve always been irritated by large crowds, and obnoxious teens. Welcome to high school. I wish I could control my sociopathic biology teacher, my obnoxious classmates who think I’m deaf, and my friends, who don’t really understand. But mostly, I like controlling myself. I don’t like being sad, or feeling alone. But I can’t control that on my own. I like knowing I can hurt myself, or make myself happy, whenever I need to. I’m a self-diagnosed depressed teen with nothing to look forward to. The only variable I can control is my own emotions. And I express that through cutting. Does it hurt? Yes. But I like it. I like being in control of my own suffering. Do I regret my choices? Not at all.
Person [female, age 15, began to SI at age 14, high school sophomore]