[female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]
By Draco Malfoy,
When I’m put in a situation where I’d want to scream, but can’t because of where I’m at and the people I’m around, hurting myself releases the tension in the same way as screaming or hurting others would, except it’s quieter and less noticeable. If something upsets me at school, for instance, I can cut my wrist or dig my fingernails into my hand without anyone knowing what I’m doing or how I’m feeling. I also like the scars. They remind me of what I’ve been through, all of the emotions and mistakes I’ve made. It’s like “wearing a journal.” However, probably the biggest reason I SI is because I hate my “external” self. I’m content with who I am on the inside, but I feel like my body’s this big, ugly mask, hiding who I really am, and keeping others from wanting to get to know me. I hate myself with a passion, and I feel disconnected in a way, like there are two separate parts of me. I often want to destroy my body… to mutilate it in any way that I can.
Person [female, age 17, began to SI at age 13]