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    I am 21 years old now

    • What a basic question with such a complicated answer. The first time I self inflicted myself was with a Sprite can, when I was 12. I carved my first initial into my arm, and honestly, I think I did it for attention. What I didn’t know was that it was the start of something that would have effect on my entire life. So much pain, impulse, mutilation, and sometimes self-punishment…has darkened my soul. Just like it will darken everyone elses. Why? Why. WHY! Trust me, it is the same question we ask ourselves. We are viewed as being weak, crazy, and unstable. And honestly, some of us are. But maybe we just fell victim into caring too much. Caring too much what you think, what they think…and how it makes us feel. Maybe we fell victim into BELIEVING all those hurtful things you told us. We may be insane, but I’d rather be nuts than a hypocrite. “You’re fat! You’re dumb! You’ll never amount to anything!” -cut- “You’re CRAZY, too!!” Why do we harm ourselves? Because the world isn’t black and white. It has a million different shades to every possible color that could exist. Why? We just want to be loved. Why? Don’t you just want to be loved, too? The last time I did it, was a month ago. And to EVERY SINGLE person who reads this…young, and old…STOP. PLEASE. STOP. Stop hurting yourself. PLEASE. I wish I had the strength in me, that I know ALL of you DO have. I don’t because I don’t believe in myself. You all need to believe in yourself. BELIEVE you are beautiful, wonderful, smart, intelligent, good looking and AMAZING because you all are. You are ALL amazing, just the way you are. The biggest thing I learned from this, is I am different. We are all different. Someone out there will love us because we are different. Simply because we are just…us. LOVE YOURSELF. LOVE IS THE MOVEMENT. With everlasting, and neverending love… me ^_^

    • Person [female, age 21, began to SI at age 12, Employed]
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    “But maybe we just fell victim into caring too much. Caring too much what you think, what they think…and how it makes us feel.”

    This is a HUGE part of my SI puzzle. Plus you implore others to stop what you yourself cannot… it’s the same for me. My rational brain knows it is wrong and that I need to deal with emotional pain in a very different way, but that doesn’t ever seem to stop the compulsion to SI (I myself am a hitter/bone-breaker). But I would never want any of my friends or acquaintances or people that I dislike or complete strangers to hurt themselves the way I hurt myself. I even went into a care-taking field for a career. I want other people to be ok and healthy and happy and the majority of the time I don’t care about myself with one-tenth of the compassion I have for my patients. You and I have both suffered with this for a significant amount of time. I don’t know that I can stop… I’m afraid that there’s always a way in which I exhale that poisonous SI breath, even if it’s not as extreme as it is when I pound on my arms, hands, shoulder, ankle with rocks or my fist or a hammer. I’m not optimistic that this will have a happy ending for me.

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Welcome to self-injury.net. We are a support community for self-harmers and also provide information on self-harm, creative works, media lists, lists of resources (helplines, textlines, mental health apps, therapists, etc.), etc. We focus on self-injury but a number of other mental health issues are included.


  • self-injury.net
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  • self-injury.net is a self-harm community and resource founded in 1999. Provides support, resources, and information on self-harm.
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    Draco Malfoy Draco Malfoy