I don't really know.
I did it for the first time at around age 11. But I wouldn’t say that’s when I started, that’s when it became implanted in my mind. I was with this friend of mine that told me that she would scratch her wrists with her fingers until it became super red or bled. So since I thought she was cool, and I had just moved to a new town, we did it together. I thought it was so cool and I went around at school and showed some people. Well later that day, I got called down to the counselors office. Someone had told about what me and my (former) friend were doing.
That is the first time I can remember doing it. But then I remember being severly depressed that year because I was new and didn’t really have any close friends. I remember feeling horrible, hopeless, like I had no reason to continue living. I don’t even know why, I guess I was lonely.
I don’t remember the next time I purposely SI‘d. I know that I’ve done it every once in a while since the end of 6th grade. I’m in 11th grade now, and lately I’ve been doing it really bad. Almost every night. And I don’t know why.
I’ve always had issues with my body, like horrible deep issues. But lately I only like to hurt myself to see the cuts, and the scars. I love the way they look, and I feel like my wrist is empty without them.
I hate that I love them, and I hate that I do this.
Person [female, 16, began to SI at age 12, high school student]