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    keeper12

    i self injure because i love the scars..


    • The first time i ever cut, it was because someone i really loved had just broken up with me. I loved the feeling during cutting, and the feeling after. I loved how when i would shower, the water would kind of sting my cuts, but not enough to make me cry out i pain. I cut again because i wanted these feelings again. I stopped for about a week because two of the people i told were begging me to, but then i started again. Not because anything bad was happening, but because i wanted that feeling again. oh and i absolutely loved the scars. i know that sounds sick, but probably half of the reason i cut was because i thought the scars i got were so cool. I still have them, and sometimes i just wanna cut again to get new and worse scars. when people ask about the scars, i say theyre nothing and just change the subject. Not many people know about my cutting. No one even knows the real reason why i continued cutting after the first time. I myself just figured it out recently. I’m even too scared to say it on here, because people might see and judge me. hopefully someday i’ll have the strength to tell people.

    • Person [female, age 16, began to SI at age 12, high school student]
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    forgetxmexmegan

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    I completely agree with you. In 6th grade when I first started cutting, it was for something so stupid and little (now that I think about it) But, back then, it felt like my world was colapsing. I remembered reading something about cutting, and the physical release that you gain. So I tried it. I carved, deep with one of my dad’s razor blades into my for arm “Fuck you FATHER!” and, I loved the way you could sorta.. “hear” the flesh rip.. I don’t know, it does sound sort of crazy when you read it at first. Especially when you think it was a 6th grader doing that. But, after, when the wound was healed.. The scar was just so cool looking! It was like.. A temporary tattoo, that just lasted longer. So, I continued to cut, on different parts of my body. Thighs, chest, stomach, ankles.. Anywhere really. But, i cant say it was just for the scars. Because, I did have shit going on in my life that was unbearable, and cutting really did help me focus on something else for a second, other then just my life.  For a few months, I was neat with my cutting. Just so I would have no choice but to focus on what I was doing, leaving my mind no room to wander. But, after a while I got angry, and just slashed. Now, it’s sort of an addiction..

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