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    [Kara, female, age 15, began to SI at age 11, 9th grade student]


    • I cut, burn, bruise, overdose, etc. because I can’t deal with this never-ending pain. It hurts too much. I started when I was 11 and now it controls me, I’m no longer controlling it. I’m now 15. 4 years i’ve been hurting myself. My family is so broken. I don’t have a dad. I have a mom. But she abuses me(physically and verbally) and she does drugs, she doesn’t care about me. I’m constsntly made fun of at school. I’m the “emo bitch” who no one talks nicely to but they can can always find something mean to say to me. My boyfriend abuses me(physically and verbally). No one understands me. I’m also bulimic and have several mental illnesses. I’ve attempted suicide too many times to count or even remember. I have two friends. Don’t know if i can call them friends though because the talk about me and like me only half the time. I can not take this anymore. I need something to make the pain go away. I thought i could kill the pain but i just brought so much more. SOOOO much more. I’m trapped inside this broken life. I have a broken heart. I’m so scared of life. I tell no one of my secret. When my mom found out i cut myself. She tried to beat the problem out of me and said i was “a stupid ugly bitch who only cuts for attention”. I could NEVER do this for attention. Please anybody can anyone help me. I feel so alone.

    • Person [Kara, female, age 15, began to SI at age 11, 9th grade student]
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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I can’t exactly say that I know what you’re going through, but know that you’re not alone. There are plenty of us who are surrounded by unsupportive people out there.

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    Guest Ariel

    Posted · Report

    Dear Kara,
    I am so sorry you feel this way and that you have no one around to trust. It is not your fault that you live in this sort of environment. You are a beautiful, worthy person no matter what others tell you. The pain you feel is perfectly legitimate. And you are strong enough to have survived all this for such a long time - give yourself a pat on the back! I wish there was a quick fix for you pain. I suppose there is no such thing. It might take a lot of time for you to get better - to go through school, distance yourself from your mother and your abusive boyfriend, to build up a life of your own. But you CAN get better. You CAN survive this. You deserve to be happy. You deserve to have a fulfilling life. You deserve to have friends, real friends.
    Please don’t beat yourself up about all this. Please don’t give yourself up. Maybe there is somebody nearby you can turn to.
    Or write another comment and leave an email address or some other way to get in touch with you. I’d love to be of support to you.

    Take care,
     Ariel

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    Guest Anonymous

    Posted · Report

    I’m so sorry that you feel so alone, but there is always someone who cares about you. 

    When I read what you had written I just wanted to take some of your pain for you.  You have not done anything to deserve what has happened and is happening to you and I hope that you can take something from these comments and feel slightly less alone. 

    If strangers feel that you are important enough to spend the time to think about and compose a message to you then you have to be far more than you seem to believe yourself to be. 

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