there are many reasons behind my self harm. I self harm to make be uncontrol of my pain. To hurt somewhere besides inside, to make my outsides feel like my insides. I don't remember how to be happy anymore. All I know is how to hurt. I feel worthless, fat, ugly, and most of all I feel dead inside. It is so hard for me to get up everyday, I can't even sleep anymore the monsters creep into my dreams. I feel like I'm a living hell.