Why do I?
I self-injure to stop myself from feeling all the things I hate about myself and my life. I do it so that I can forget all of the things and people in my past and present who make me feel alone and worthless. Why can’t someone just care about me and hold me and tell me everything’s going to be okay. I want more than anything to forget about my life and my existence. I cut when I’m angry or frustrated and I feel like there’s nothing and no one I can take it out on. I burn when I sink down into depression because the rush of endorphins through your body feels more amazing than anything else. People tell me to stop, sometimes I say I will, other times I say I don’t want to. Either way people never go farther than to say stop, they don’t care if you feel terrible or you feel like you’re alone. They just say it because it’s the “right thing” to say. I can hold off for a while, but then I lapse back into it hard. I’m not sure when it will end or if it will end, but I know that as long as I’m stuck in the past it will continue. I just want to feel like someone cares enough to make me stop.
Person [male, age 17, began to SI at age 14, high school student]